Quinoa (pronounced keen-wah) is all the craze in the health food markets recently. It's a South American grain that was called the "Mother Grain" by ancient Incas, and used to be more valuable than gold. These days it's still expensive, but usually cooked similar to rice, or made into a pasta. It's incredibly healthy for you, and tastes pretty good too. That is, until somebody decided to make a drink out of it.

In the store there were two flavor options, both made by Quinoa Gold: Pina Colada, and Dark Berry. Now, I'm not sure what a "dark berry" is, or if that's even a real fruit, but it looked slightly more appetizing than the pale yellow pina colada. I would have much rather tried a "plain" or "original flavor." Already, I'm nervous to open it, because I can see little grain pieces suspended in what looks like a goo.

The smell is pretty bad, but not much different than I expected since I've eaten quinoa before. Imagine a blend of cooked wheat and rice, blended together in water. Now add to that a sickening chemically-soapy berry fruit punch flavor. Almost like a nice bottle of liquid detergent.

Getting past the smell, the first step feels like I'm drinking the blob. The good part is that it tastes better than it smells, but that doesn't say much. It's a slimy concoction, like a mix of soupy jell-o and mucous with small peices of quinoa. I really can't think of anything with that texture. The closest thing I can think of is rice porridge, but Quinoa Gold is more liquidy and it's cold. I'm not sure that the "dark berry" flavor is helping. Which, by the way, is only listed in the ingredients as "natural flavors."

The bottle claims that it is "caffeine-free energy," but I don't buy it. I don't know how someone can down a gloppy bottle of this stuff before going out and feel pumped. I think they mean to say that quinoa is a good carbohydrate. It has a low glycemic index, and any athlete will tell you that you need to eat carbohydrates for sustained energy over long periods. That doesn't give anyone the right to make a drink out of carbs and call it an energy drink.

Quinoa as a "supergrain" is fantastic and healthy when eaten alone or made into pasta, but the Quinoa drink just isn't working.

This was a strange drink, and looking from the juice box that it came in, it was very hard to tell what it is. The first sip was a very confusing mix of sour, sweet, and milky flavors. It's very thick like a thick cream. It has a slightly orange flavor, which comes from the naranjilla, a fruit with green juice and a slight orange-citrusy flavor. It also tastes a bit like candy, but papery like those "dots" or "buttons" that come on a sheet of paper.

Avena Casera is not entirely smooth though, there is a little pulp. I'm not sure if the pulpiness comes from the naranjilla or the avena, which is the other main part of this drink. Upon further inspection, the box reads " oatmeal drink, naranjilla flavored." I didn't expect for a second that this drink was made of oatmeal. It turns out that Avena is a type of oatmeal drink, not just a brand name as I originally assumed.

Avena Casera is 100% natural and the ingredients include passion fruit, oatmeal, naranjilla fruit flavor and cinnamon extract.

This bottle looks like a kid's drink, with a cartoon bear hugging a giant ear of corn, but I think it may be marketed toward adults as a beauty drink because of the nutrients.

This corn juice was being sold in 500g bottles as well as 2-liter bottles, and it looked like there was only one flavor option: corn.  The foil cap on the small bottle I bought was extremely hard to open. I tried peeling at first, but it seems like it was made for  a straw. With no straw in sight, I had to stab it with a pen a couple times to get it to open up.

So, the long and short of it is: this tastes like cold creamed corn soup, without the chunks. It's very thick for a drink, and pretty sweet. If you like corn, you would probably like it. It really does taste like corn, with not much else added. There's no aftertaste, and even though it's not really refreshing or especially tasty in my opinion, it's not unpleasant in any way.

The label says it's organic, and the ingredients are pretty simple: water, "fresh glutinous sweet corn juice," and 木糖 (mù táng). The last ingredient directly translates as wood sugar, but I'm not sure exactly what it is; the scientific name is xylose.

I'm not sure exactly what vitamins this brand has, but another brand of corn juice says that it has vitamin A, vitamin C, folic acid, magnesium, iron, fiber, and protein. The other brand, which is being positioned as a "fashion" or "beauty" drink, is only 25% sweet corn juice.

I sipped this before smelling it. Bad idea.

Based on the harmless-looking sprig of wheat or barley on the can, I figured it would be something like Nikola Kvas, especially since Korea is so close to Russia. Boy, was I wrong.

That first sip of McCol was terrible and overwhelming. It's really fizzy and sour, and tastes like lemon juice mixed with beer that's gone bad. It's worth saying again, it's really fizzy, so fizzy that when you sip it forms a foam in your mouth because of all the fizz. It's one of the worst drinks I've ever tried, and I couldn't actually take more than two sips.

I seriously can't imagine anyone liking McCol. I had to force myself to take a second sip so I could reasonably describe what it tastes like. But I've heard differently too. One of my thirsty friends guzzled the drink down without blinking, and I've read on a Korean blog (in English) that it just tastes like Coke or Pepsi with a slight barley aftertaste. Supposedly it's even somewhat good for you, fortified with Vitamins A, B, and C.

At the risk of being guilty of just "not giving McCol a chance," I was happy when I discovered a French blog (in French) that agrees with me. The author describes McCol like this:

"I'll be honest with you, it's disgusting. It does not resemble cola too much, rather a kind of Rivella which has aged poorly. Not great so I do not advise it."
- Louline (via Google Translator)

Inka Coffee Substitute

Inka is a Polish drink, commonly used as a coffee substitute. It's taste resembles coffee, but it has no caffeine.

The inka drink mix made by Naturalis Inka comes in a round can similar to instant coffee. The brown powder smells woody, but has a very similar aroma to the powdered coffee brands we're all used to. To make the inka beverage, you're supposed to use one heaping teaspoon of the powder, mixed with boiling water or milk. I tried it with water, and the inka coffee that resulted was suprisingly black, with a white and brown foam. It does taste like a very weak coffee, but maybe that's just because of the similarity in making it, and how it's known as a coffee substitute.

Inka Coffee Substitute

The woody smell did carry on into the drink as expected, but it tastes more nutty. It's not bitter at all like I expected, especially for a coffee-type drink. There's no aftertaste, except for a slight fresh feeling, (similar to mint, when you breathe in it cools your mouth). I could imagine it being a great warm drink for winter or night time, especially when you don't want the caffeine. I imagine that it would taste great with milk as well, for a more creamy inka coffee substitute.

Inka is a grain beverage made from extremely simple ingredients: Roasted Barley, Rye, Chicory, and Beet Roots. It's interesting, looking at the nutrition facts, that Naturalis Inka has almost no nutritional value when mixed with water. It has only one gram of carbohydrates. It's also all natural with no preservatives, chemical additives, or caffiene.

Get Inka Naturalis Here

NATURALIS Inka coffee substitute, 8.75 Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)