Quinoa (pronounced keen-wah) is all the craze in the health food markets recently. It's a South American grain that was called the "Mother Grain" by ancient Incas, and used to be more valuable than gold. These days it's still expensive, but usually cooked similar to rice, or made into a pasta. It's incredibly healthy for you, and tastes pretty good too. That is, until somebody decided to make a drink out of it.

In the store there were two flavor options, both made by Quinoa Gold: Pina Colada, and Dark Berry. Now, I'm not sure what a "dark berry" is, or if that's even a real fruit, but it looked slightly more appetizing than the pale yellow pina colada. I would have much rather tried a "plain" or "original flavor." Already, I'm nervous to open it, because I can see little grain pieces suspended in what looks like a goo.

The smell is pretty bad, but not much different than I expected since I've eaten quinoa before. Imagine a blend of cooked wheat and rice, blended together in water. Now add to that a sickening chemically-soapy berry fruit punch flavor. Almost like a nice bottle of liquid detergent.

Getting past the smell, the first step feels like I'm drinking the blob. The good part is that it tastes better than it smells, but that doesn't say much. It's a slimy concoction, like a mix of soupy jell-o and mucous with small peices of quinoa. I really can't think of anything with that texture. The closest thing I can think of is rice porridge, but Quinoa Gold is more liquidy and it's cold. I'm not sure that the "dark berry" flavor is helping. Which, by the way, is only listed in the ingredients as "natural flavors."

The bottle claims that it is "caffeine-free energy," but I don't buy it. I don't know how someone can down a gloppy bottle of this stuff before going out and feel pumped. I think they mean to say that quinoa is a good carbohydrate. It has a low glycemic index, and any athlete will tell you that you need to eat carbohydrates for sustained energy over long periods. That doesn't give anyone the right to make a drink out of carbs and call it an energy drink.

Quinoa as a "supergrain" is fantastic and healthy when eaten alone or made into pasta, but the Quinoa drink just isn't working.

I sipped this before smelling it. Bad idea.

Based on the harmless-looking sprig of wheat or barley on the can, I figured it would be something like Nikola Kvas, especially since Korea is so close to Russia. Boy, was I wrong.

That first sip of McCol was terrible and overwhelming. It's really fizzy and sour, and tastes like lemon juice mixed with beer that's gone bad. It's worth saying again, it's really fizzy, so fizzy that when you sip it forms a foam in your mouth because of all the fizz. It's one of the worst drinks I've ever tried, and I couldn't actually take more than two sips.

I seriously can't imagine anyone liking McCol. I had to force myself to take a second sip so I could reasonably describe what it tastes like. But I've heard differently too. One of my thirsty friends guzzled the drink down without blinking, and I've read on a Korean blog (in English) that it just tastes like Coke or Pepsi with a slight barley aftertaste. Supposedly it's even somewhat good for you, fortified with Vitamins A, B, and C.

At the risk of being guilty of just "not giving McCol a chance," I was happy when I discovered a French blog (in French) that agrees with me. The author describes McCol like this:

"I'll be honest with you, it's disgusting. It does not resemble cola too much, rather a kind of Rivella which has aged poorly. Not great so I do not advise it."
- Louline (via Google Translator)