Quinoa Gold

Quinoa (pronounced keen-wah) is all the craze in the health food markets recently. It's a South American grain that was called the "Mother Grain" by ancient Incas, and used to be more valuable than gold. These days it's still expensive, but usually cooked similar to rice, or made into a pasta. It's incredibly healthy for you, and tastes pretty good too. That is, until somebody decided to make a drink out of it.

In the store there were two flavor options, both made by Quinoa Gold: Pina Colada, and Dark Berry. Now, I'm not sure what a "dark berry" is, or if that's even a real fruit, but it looked slightly more appetizing than the pale yellow pina colada. I would have much rather tried a "plain" or "original flavor." Already, I'm nervous to open it, because I can see little grain pieces suspended in what looks like a goo.

The smell is pretty bad, but not much different than I expected since I've eaten quinoa before. Imagine a blend of cooked wheat and rice, blended together in water. Now add to that a sickening chemically-soapy berry fruit punch flavor. Almost like a nice bottle of liquid detergent.

Getting past the smell, the first step feels like I'm drinking the blob. The good part is that it tastes better than it smells, but that doesn't say much. It's a slimy concoction, like a mix of soupy jell-o and mucous with small peices of quinoa. I really can't think of anything with that texture. The closest thing I can think of is rice porridge, but Quinoa Gold is more liquidy and it's cold. I'm not sure that the "dark berry" flavor is helping. Which, by the way, is only listed in the ingredients as "natural flavors."

The bottle claims that it is "caffeine-free energy," but I don't buy it. I don't know how someone can down a gloppy bottle of this stuff before going out and feel pumped. I think they mean to say that quinoa is a good carbohydrate. It has a low glycemic index, and any athlete will tell you that you need to eat carbohydrates for sustained energy over long periods. That doesn't give anyone the right to make a drink out of carbs and call it an energy drink.

Quinoa as a "supergrain" is fantastic and healthy when eaten alone or made into pasta, but the Quinoa drink just isn't working.